Paper Towns

(the following was not written by me.
it was written on someone else's blog
that i found on tumblr. it is genius.)

"I read because one of these days I'm going to get out of this town, and I'm going to go everywhere and meet everybody, and I want to be ready.”

"When you live in a small town, it is super easy to get pigeon holed into being a certain kind of person. And while I am making such a fuss lately about being brave and real and everything, the fact of the matter is the people around me are always going to be the same. Things just don’t change around here, and there’s a certain kind of comfort in that. It’s safe. It’s familiar. It’s home.

"The person this place has made me is a good one. I know that, I really do... I appreciate the “village” mentality just as much as I completely despise it sometimes. I like having the opportunity to be a three sport athlete and improve at things I never would have considered doing in the larger places I’ve lived. I like that there are so many adults in my life, teachers and community people alike, who I can go to when I need a place to stay because my house is too far away or when I need a ride or just help with a random event or project. I like that the school here is so small that every age and type of student is on equal ground and can find it in themselves to be friends. I know that the things I’ve learned here are things I need to carry with me. There are so many things about small town life that are disheartening. It’s easy to let the community hold a power over you that can dictate whether you’re happy or sad. I let a few of the people here have that power. I’ve learned to not let what they think of me define me, though. It effects me, but it does not define me.

"In a larger place you have OPTIONS. Options are such a novelty here, the ability to make decisions. Anywhere else, if you get in a fight with a friend, you say “screw it” and find new friends. You don’t like a teacher, you say “Well, that teacher hates me, I am going to transfer to another English class.” Your coach is tough on you, you say, “Well, this sport isn’t my thing, I’ll go join another activity.” Here you have to stick things out. You learn to deal with people and you become strong enough to show up day after day with the same people knowing everything about you. They know every mistake and every dumb thing you’ve ever said. You don’t quit things you start because people rely on you to keep things going. There’s not enough people for quitters.

"So, even though it’s maddening to listen to the gossip and to know I’m never really going to fit in, there’s something to be said about not having options. There have been things that have been so tough about being here, but it has taught me to co-exist even when it seems impossible. I’ve learned to take direction and just keep my mouth shut. I’ve learned there’s a freedom in isolation to dress how you want and to skip make up every once in a while. I’ve learned to appreciate the nice boy who spends his time loving me and not his skateboard/car/hair/etc. I’ve learned how FUN it can be to PARTICIPATE and to do lame things that would be considered preppy or nerdy anywhere else.

"I want big things and to be in big places. I want to write and experience and be well traveled. I want to learn to be brave and to be able to look at myself and stop seeing an average girl who doesn’t do anything with her time. But I don’t want to lose the things that this small town has made me. I don’t want to become someone who doesn’t believe in the idea of people taking care of each other. I don’t want to be so high and mighty that I can’t enjoy the simple things about this infuriatingly average life.

"I am going to scream and shout and want out of here. This town isn’t perfect and isn’t exactly for somebody like me who wants everything. I am going to leave. I probably won’t miss a lot of the people here. But I will never forget that negative or positive, this place has shaped me."

“The town was paper, but the memories were not.”